Some people took issue
statement of mine, that there's a “cheskas kashrus” (a warranted
presumption of factual innocence) on anyone who's been attacked by
internet blogs. Turning to the internet in a divorce is shameful, it
shows callous disregard for the kids, as is causing false arrest, as
is arranging a beat up of one's spouse. All these and more are done
by ORA, the Organization for the Resolution of “Agunot” and this
says more about them than it does about any one of their targets.
The question is: was it only
their tactics that are despicable? The answer is usually that
outrageous tactics stem from wrongheaded people with terrible ideas.
The case is no exception; it's a prime example.
Facts vs Lies:
ORA claims that they do not
attack anyone without the sanctioning of a Beis Din (rabbinical
court). The Friedman case showed this to be another of their
boldfaced lies. The problem for them was that no reputable Beis Din
would find Aharon Friedman in contempt. For a long time, even
disreputable ones refused to intervene. This was because it was
Aharon Friedman who had sought resolution in a proper rabbinical
court from the start. The other side had pulled out in middle. ORA
ignored these facts, and all religious law and moral decency in the
process, took the streets (after being paid very well to do so),
harassed his employer and took part in the filing of legal actions
against him that violates all tenets of Jewish Law.
It should be noted some of
ORA's shameful actions adversely affected people who are in a
position to be of assistance to Israel. The Modern-Orthodox
leadership has claimed to be Israel's strongest supporters. Many
have long noted that Netanyahu and most right thinking Israelis view
the Modern-Orthodox leadership and Yeshiva University as political
fanatics who give Israel a bad name. Regular Orthodox people like
Aharon Friedman put their passion in religion and not in fanning
political flames. They, like secular Israelis who care about basic
security, support a strong defense and abhor harmful rhetoric. The
callousness of the Modern-Orthodox leadership in this area is as
harmful as their war against marriage and parental rights.
Thugs Masquerading as
Activists and (Modern-Orthodox) Rabbis:
To put this in perspective,
ORA is an organization that was founded and effectively run by
Hershel Schachter, a dean at Yeshiva University who has called for
Netanyahu's assassination, as well as that of Olmert before him, may
Hashem protect both. Where marriage is concerned, they've taken
divorce cases that were very easy resolve and wrought havoc for
solely the sake of wreaking havoc and furthering their own self
promotion. In other cases, where reconciliation was sought, they've
done everything to prevent same. Like many activists, thumping their
own chests and taking to the streets instead of encouraging dialogue,
is a natural progression of their self-serving ways.
Women who have gone to them,
and have been advised by the great luminaries who run the joint to
arrange beat ups, seek false arrest (using either mandatory arrest
laws or near-frivolous contempt motions), invariably regret ever
having done so. After the anger has subsided, the divorcing spouse
realizes that all ORA has accomplished is to drag their own name
through the mud by way of association, as well as possibly
irreparably harm their kids.
ORA's tactics have been used
in cases where nothing has been sought other than counseling and a
postpartum evaluation. Their activism has been used in cases where
nothing more than fair access to children has been insisted upon.
The bottom line is that in the overwhelming majority of cases that
ORA sees fit to thrust the full force of their army of chicken-hawks
out into the streets, no one with any moral compass or knowledge of
Jewish religious law would ever touch with a ten foot poll, other
than perhaps taking the other side. In cases where some kind of
intervention is needed, their insane tactics only work to preclude
resolution.
ORA and the Modern-Orthodox
leadership seek to portray themselves as champions of women's rights.
Like the crazed lunatics who cheer on abortion as an inalienable
right, they march in lock step saying that all men must immediately
grant a get to wife upon demand. The fact is, however, that in case
after case, ORA has done everything possible to prevent any type of
amicable resolution – there's no money or media attention in that.
Just like the woman who chooses abortion in her teens or her
twenties, regrets having done so all the way into her 60s and beyond,
those who avail themselves of ORA regret the insanity wrought upon
themselves for the rest of their lives.
Torah Judaism is
compassionate. When men stopped being the automatic gatekeepers of
marriage, over a thousand years ago, Rabbeinu Gershom immediately
instituted a decree that prevented a man from divorcing his wife if
she did not want one. This was done “to give women the same rights
as This was before the Shulchan Aruch was written Contrary to
ORA's claims, no rabbi today has the write to supersede Jewish Law
and those who do end up espousing positions that are the antithesis
of morality. Case in point, what they did to Aharon Friedman.
There are other examples.
Here's a snippet of one of their shameful press releases, one snippet
that points to a mountain of immorality:
"Chani called ORA in
July of 2007, and we pursued an aggressive strategy to convince him
to give the get. Using outside-the-box tactics, and in partnership
with community lay-leaders, attorneys, and rabbis, ORA never gave up
on Chani. Due to our coordination, her ex-husband served nine months
in jail for withholding the get. However, he was eventually bailed
out, and persisted in his recalcitrance. Eventually, we were able to
get him incarcerated once again. This time, he had had enough. Chani
is finally, finally free."
Jew law stipulates that
someone who does this is a “moser,” an unwarranted informer.
Furthermore, the gittin (religious divorces) that they supposedly
procure are clearly invalid according to clearly stated Shulchan
Aruch, the book of Jewish religious law (see Ever HaEzer 154). If
Shulchan Aruch isn't enough, renown Rabbi Yosef Sholom Elyashiv OBM
ruled over and over again that such gittin are invalid, as does
renown posek Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky Shlita.
But at least ORA's criminals
aren't violent, right? Wrong:
ORA's founder, Hershel
Schachter, a “Yeshiva” University “rabbi” who has called for
the assassination of two Israeli Prime Ministers, Heaven forfend,
also openly incited violence against Aharon Friedman, without any
basis in halacha or morality. His perversions of Torah, especially
in this case, were widely decried in proper Orthodox circles, except
by those who were too shamefully timid to speak out.
Invalid Gittin:
It would be wrong not to set
the record straight in another regard. Many Litvisher Roshei Yeshiva
who should know better have bent over backwards to compromise with
the Modern-Orthodox. To do so is to compromise Judaism.
I've had conversations with
HaRav HaGaon Dovid Eidensohn, who was ordained as a religious judge
by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ZTL and others, in which he's expressed
tremendous sorrow and disappointment regarding the Rosh Yeshiva who
could care less about Jewish law and care less that they're making
mamzerim. The fact that the same cretins who lambasted Aharon
Friedman after his wife walked out on a kosher and mutually agreed
upon Beis Din, now refuse to speak out about his wife's supposed
annulment (which no orthodox rabbi can support), shows you all that
you need to know about their supposed reverence for Jewish law and
for preventing mamzerus.
The Shame of this Case
and What They Did to a Young Mother:
Aside from ORA's efforts to
even deny women the rights afforded to them through Takonas Rabbeinu
Gershom, there's another sad and shameful aspect to this story. It
seems clear that Tamar Friedman was used by this group, who dragged
her and her child's name through the mud and who were more than happy
to take their demonic battle to the streets than to negotiate fairer
access to the kids.
I have nothing against Tamar
Friedman and believe that she too is a victim of ORA. I know details
about the case and people have advised that there was a marked change
in her after pregnancy. Anyone familiar with postpartum anxiety
knows that if not treated, it can cause certain factors that would
make someone associate with the likes of ORA or any other thug
activist. It often does not go away on its own. I won't mention the
specific symptoms as this would be a disservice to her. Suffice it
to say that one frum post-natal organization has been credited with
saving hundreds of families after births because they recognize the
symptoms, which lead these mothers to want divorce and fear the
worse, and treat them.
At a minimum, Mrs. Friedman
should have been told that divorce involves negotiation and that she
can't have everything. Any caring person would have told her that
her daughter needs a close connection with her father, not seeing her
mother march in the streets with a bunch of dishonorable Yeshiva
University activists. The damage that they did to her name is far
greater than whatever they did to him. They don't care, they've done
it in case after case. It's a chiyuv to now speak out against them.
The Disgraceful Others
Players:
Mordechai Wolmark was
involved in condemning Friedman. Wolmark is been charged in numerous
kidnappings in which he sold his services to the highest bidder.
Religion (and resulting mamzerus). never factored in and that much is
clear to all.
But Wolmark was not alone.
Rabbi Yisroel Belsky, a man known for both fraudulent annulments and
for highly controversial kashrus rulings, also jumped onto the
political bandwagon, siding with people who saw fit to debase Judaism
and rationality itself by taking a private divorce case to the papers
and internet bloggers. No surprise there either.
There's a principle in
hilchos aveilus (the laws of mourning) that halacha kdivrei hameikil
b'avel, the ruling goes according to the (posek who sights legitimate
halachic proofs to be) lenient in mourning. This principle does not
apply to kashrus, which is of course news to Yisroel Belsky. The
fact that the Modern-Orthodox OU give credence to his innovative and
highly questionable rulings is a prime reason why their hechsher
isn't accepted in many religious circles and why no educated frum
people eat cooked fish under their certification.
To see Yisroel Belsky's
singlehanded rewriting of Jewish law, and Rav Ovadia Yosef OBM
condemnation, view this:
http://theunorthodoxjew.blogspot.com/2006/09/vile-fraud-that-is-yisroel-belsky-part.html
One person who should have
known better was Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky. Aharon Friedman's wife's
family were substantial donors of his for years. The fact that a
person is able to give up his unlimited Olam Haboh for limited
dollars is sad. The fact that a rabbi would cave to political
pressure to try to cause mamzerus is beyond shameful.
It should be noted that this
is not the first time that Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky has acted
questionably. He once signed onto an edict stating that it was
forbidden to attend a certain concert. That is his right and he may
have been correct. But when confronted by the media he stated that
it might have been better not to sign on. Judaism isn't passed down
by bandwagon followers and he had no business signing “mecho'ois”
(letters of protest) if he wasn't certain of them. To do so shames
his position.
Can people such as Rabbi
Shmuel Kamenetsky and R' Yisroel Belsky, both in a position to
inspire thousands of students to adhere to Torah, ever hope to
represent or transmit Torah if they remain committed to farcical
tactics? The question is as unfortunate as it is rhetorical.
It should be noted that
while Belsky and Wolmark have engaged in violent criminal activity,
the kind that Hershel Schachter has encouraged, Kamenesky has not.
His involvement was merely opportunistic, but an invalid get results
in mamzerus and hataras aishes ish (adultery) and is more destructive
and shameful than words will allow.
I'm unfortunately no
stranger to much of what was described above. And while my battle
was only with the Modern-Orthodox and a few lunatic followers, it was
still shameful. In fact, one liar who collaborated with the
FailedMessiah, tied my case to Aharon Friedman. I thanked him for
the compliment.
Many men who've gone through
divorces have told me the same thing, that someone who hasn't been
through it themselves, Rachmono Litzlan, hayo lo siheyeh, can't begin
to understand these people or to fathom the depravity of the
activists. They are right. In my case, I sought nothing more than a
postpartum evaluation and counseling. I was supported by a frum
postnatal organization, the Beis Din that had converted our adopted
son and a renown posek. It meant nothing to the shameful activists
who were looking for another case in which to wreak havoc for their
own self-glorification.
Like Aharon Friedman, some
lunatic tried to arrange a beat-up. In my case I told the ring
leader who they dragged along to call the chief rabbi of the town,
Rabbi Pinchas Weberman, who immediately asked why on earth they were
there and told them the truth. Aharon wasn't as fortunate. Like
Aharon Friedman's case, the activists advised trying to pull an arrest which
only backfired in court, as these tactics have done. I was advised to
pursue an arrest in return and did not, as no believing Jew ever
should dare do such a thing, chas veshalom, to any other person.
Like Aharon Friedman's case, the activists then shamefully took to the blogs
with ridiculous allegations that were either laughed out of court and
almost cost the side making them custody (judges are wising up to
this) or, in other cases, refuted by the woman herself. Like Aharon
Friedman, I didn't pay heed to the demands of screaming lunatics.
Unlike him, I was blessed with her good instincts to eventually sit
down and talk.
One should try to save their
marriage. Divorce is supposed to be rare. That's not how the YU
activists, who have the maturity of new born babies and an even less
developed sense of basic morality, see the issue. That's their
problem. If all efforts have been taken to save a marriage, when
both sides are aware that divorce destroys children (Harvard and
Cambridge studies point to increased crime, substance abuse, lower
self-esteem, lower success rates and even suicide, Rachmono litzlan,
among children of divorce, even decades later) then there is
unfortunately the concept of divorce. But to give into activists for
the sake of it is a crime against one's children, against one's
spouse and against morality itself. Taking part in an invalid get
also causes problems of aishes ish and mamzerus, may Hashem protect
against it.
My heartfelt advice to both
parties in this case would be not only to sit down but to try to put
the marriage back together in spite of all the third party
opportunists who've wreaked havoc in both of their lives. There are
organizations and people who can help and who've turned around many
broken cases. This would be of tremendous benefit to them, even if
they can't see it now because of all of the outside opportunists who
involved themselves, and would also be of untold benefit to their
daughter. I'm sure that both parties would have at the idea at
first, but it would be of greatest service to them both and the
attempt itself can yield surprising results.
To those who've been
attacked:
There's no shame in being
the target of malicious, vicious fools. There's even less shame in
standing up for your marriage. There's no shame in seeking to
protect your parental rights. And there's certainly no shame in
being accused of supposedly violating religious precepts by people
who flush all that is decent, yet alone holly, down the proverbial
toilet, all the while admitting that they could care less whether
their actions follow Jewish religious law (the code that they accuse
you of breaking), as they stoop to one low after another to try to
compel you to comply with their demands.
To others:
Make no mistake. There's
nothing good, holy or Jewish about ORA, the Yeshiva University or
Modern-Orthodoxy. Netanyahu recognizes Modern-Orthodoxy for the
blight on the Jewish people that it is and it's a shame that
so-called religious leaders in the Litvish community don't have the
fortitude to call a dangerous moral poison that which it is and
nothing less. Chassidisher rabbis have made no qualms about showing
Modern-Orthodoxy to have no basis in Jewish law. There's
unfortunately a trend among outreach leaders, who do indeed do
valuable work, to refrain from criticizing, or even cooperating with
their Modern-Orthodox counterparts in ways that cede ground on
Yiddishkeit. Nothing is more important than preserving true Judaism
and the Jewish family.
