By Yomin Postelnik
As religious Jews, we believe that
Torah, the word of Hashem, contains the ultimate morality.
Political fads come and go, and most of them are seen in the end to
be harmful.
The case of Meir Kin is one such example. He followed Torah law and, just as importantly, was willing to settle fairly, at one time offering a choice of four Rabbinical Courts in which to present his divorce case. Those who trashed him did not follow Torah and, just as importantly, sought to wreak havoc for their own monetary and political gain - mostly at the expense of the woman who they feigned caring for.
The case of Meir Kin is one such example. He followed Torah law and, just as importantly, was willing to settle fairly, at one time offering a choice of four Rabbinical Courts in which to present his divorce case. Those who trashed him did not follow Torah and, just as importantly, sought to wreak havoc for their own monetary and political gain - mostly at the expense of the woman who they feigned caring for.
As Torah Jews, we do not have the
right to trash people over disagreements, especially if they are
following Torah law. As sensible people, we do not trash people in
middle of divorces. Indeed, the actions of the activists have not
only hurt Meir and his child, but have also caused a standstill that
hurts the woman who the activists supposedly sought to help.
Get ORA (a criminal organization that
self-styles itself the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot) is
known as a group that has wreaked havoc in almost every divorce case
that it has touched, often taking easy to resolve cases and making
them impossible to resolve, all the while collecting money on behalf
of their "work." In other cases, they've gotten
involved in custody battles, in clear violation of Jewish law.
Most despicably, they often seek to procure divorces in cases in
which the husband seeks to save the marriage and insists on
counseling or on an evaluation for postpartum anxiety, even when
medical or therapeutic experts have called for same.
Get ORA has also been involved in
several violent acts and has been the subject of at least two
documented police reports. Their website boasts of having
caused false arrests. They work in tandem with an activist
group masquerading as a Rabbinical Court that calls themselves the
"Beth Din of America." Their leader, Hershel Schachter of
Yeshiva University (a place where the open immorality of university
campuses is all but encouraged and never stopped, yet which seeks to
disguise itself as a religious institution), has encouraged
despicable acts of violence and has been recorded doing so. He cares
as much for Torah law as did Saddam Hussein in his time. And he
cares almost as much for the wellbeing of the women whom he
purportedly seeks to help.
In the Kin case, Meir Kin had offered
4 Rabbinical
Courts
that were acceptable at the getgo. All were refused as his wife received advice
from GetORA and self serving rabbis from the Rabbinical Council of
California. This Council's members were excommunicated by a
Monsey Rabbinical Court for their actions and then proceeded to issue
a retaliatory "contempt" ruling from an ad hoc court that
never before existed. At no time did they have any jurisdiction
in the case. Obviously, such actions, and the trumpeting of
such actions by violent activist groups like ORA, are shameful and
represent a threat to Judaism.
What's even more shameful is the human
aspect. These self-aggrandizers claim to be helping his wife.
They're doing no such thing. Every divorce mediator knows to
settle things down before there can be any negotiation. Any
divorce lawyer who cares for his or her client's long-term interests
does the same thing. Not so Get ORA. Instead of working
with any one of the four highly respected rabbinical courts that Meir
Kin had agreed to, they wrought havoc in the case and made sure that
it could not be resolved for years, all the while portraying
themselves as great warriors who needed money to further harm the
woman who they purportedly wished to save.
Divorce cases are easy to resolve
when people who care about both parties seek to calm things down.
Of course, people who truly care about both parties usually try to
save the marriage, as did all sages and rabbis throughout all times.
Our tradition from Aharon HaKohen (Moses' brother Aaron) on, and
replete throughout the Talmud, stresses the primary importance of
saving marriages over all. Sure, sages sought to help "agunos,"
women whose husbands were lost, or who had abandoned them.
Using this term in the full and traditional sense to describe someone
who's lashing out at her husband and who refuses to adjudicate in a
proper rabbinical court, or who refuses counseling sessions (which
even non-Jewish courts often order absent a settlement agreement), is
to rewrite the Torah. We can't do that.
Along those lines, when a Jew wishes
to know what Hashem's ultimate morality dictates, he or she consults
halacha. Jewish law treats both parties fairly and does not
sacrifice either of their rights. The Shulchan Aruch, in Even
HaEzer Section 154 outlines the cases in which some pressure may be
applied by a religious court in a divorce. Ninety five percent
of cases in which activist rabbis, who openly admit that they care
little for what the Shulchan Aruch says on the matter, don't fall
into this category. This isn't some side point in Jewish law.
The same Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 134 and 77) invalidate gittin
(bills of divorce) that do not fall under the categories outlined in
section 154.
Those who have found a new "morality"
for themselves by falsely pitting men against women, attempting to
deny fathers and mothers the rights to seek custody, encouraging
divorce in all cases while preventing counseling, advising people to
"do the get" first and then work on it later as a way of
"ensuring" rights (and rendering marriage meaningless in
the process, similar to how the baby killing crowd encourage abortion
as some kind of perverse "right," with not totally
unsimilar consequences for many of the children involved), have
indeed supplanted Judaism's inherent goodness with their own
wreckage. But make no mistake, there's nothing Jewish about it.
And they care for no one. Just
ask Lonna Kin. A decent person could have sat down with both
parties. Even people who are only interested in her side should
have known better than to do everything in the world to make
resolution for both impossible, all the while masquerading as her
concerned friends who only aggravated the situation while collecting
money for their continued destructive efforts. They are true
enemies of her, of the Torah and of Hashem, unless they are too
dimwitted to see the clear effects of their actions.
As to Meir Kin, he's done nothing
against Jewish law. In general it's always important to try to
save the marriage (which today can also involve the necessity of
ignoring screaming loons who care for no one and who have sacrificed
many couples in the name of a very irreligious cause), and then, if
that fails, to resolve these things. Yet at the same time, a father
who poses no danger has a right to meaningful custody. What is
against Jewish law, and what has only prolonged this case and made
settlement all but impossible, is embarassing him or humiliating
him. His case has nothing to do with those mentioned in
Shulchan Aruch (EH 154) and listening to a retaliatory siruv
(contempt finding) from a court that does not exist makes those who
heed it guilty of sin and purveyors of nothing good for anyone.
As Rabbi Avrohom S. Y. Gestetner (a
dayan - qualified religious judge - who sees fighting the tactics of
the get activists, and their attempts to change halacha, a core
mission of his) wrote to a group of rabbis who sought to exact a get
based on the woman's demands, against the opinion of poskim (true
arbiters of Jewish law) and those of medically licensed experts
(loose rendition): The Torah is no one's private toy with which to
play games with and the sin of embarrassing one's fellow applies
fully in such cases. I'd personally add to his words that their
tactics make no sense unless they purposely want to wreak havoc with
the lives of all parties involved.
If the guidelines of Jewish law would
be followed, far fewer divorces would happen and those that would
would have been worked on to a point where coparenting is possible.
Meir Kin's case is a travesty and according to clearly stated Jewish
law, and backed by a rabbinical court and many leading rabbis (not to
mention clearly stated Jewish law), it is an absolute sin to
participate in it. From a standpoint of common sense, doing so
only harms both parties, as is usually the case when one confuses
Hashem's holy commandments that lead to peace with political
posturing that has only lead to years of harm. Anyone who can
speak out against the self-aggrandizing activist havoc wreakers
should be blessed, by both parties, as well as by G-d Almighty.