Tuesday, February 03, 2009

With Daschle Out, Let's Hope it's Not Dean

It probably won't be. I hope it won't.

Or maybe I should hope it’s Howard Dean, that foolish and crazy loose cannon would likely be ineffective.

I WANT HEALTHCARE!! AND THE SUCKY GOVERNMENT RATIONED TYPE TOO!! FOR EVERYONE!!! AND I’LL TAKE THAT MESSAGE TO NEW HAMPSHIRE!!!! AND SOUTH DAKOTA!!!! AND MARYLAND!!! AND PITTSBURGH!!, er PENNSYLVANIA!!! AND CANADA!!!! AND UZBEKISTAN!!!! AND ALL THE OTHER 50 STATES!!!! AAAGH!!!!!!!

Doctor Cuckoo would be funny in Cabinet. But it would be sad for the country.

HEY OBAMA!!! BIDEN!!!! HILLBILLY!!! GET OUT!! I’M IN CHARGE!!! JOHN KERRY STOLE THE NOMINATION FROM ME!!!

Reuters Mar. 7, 2009

Health and Human Services Secretary Propels Self Out of White House Windows

The rambunctious Howard Dean made news again today as he jumped out of the top story windows at the White House for the purpose of filming a health adversary for kids. Dean escaped with minor injuries due to the size of his propeller cap and the fact that wrestling legend Jesse Ventura was on hand to catch the flying doctor.

When President Obama was asked to comment, he blamed the lack of security latches on the White House windows on the previous Bush administration. “President Bush knew for three months that I was bringing my team of lunatics into the White House. That’s more than ample time to order security locks.”

Asked whether he’d ask for Dean’s resignation, as the Secretary almost landed on and nearly killed a passing cat, earning the Administration the wrath of PETA, Obama insisted that child proof locks were going up on all White House windows and that he does not foresee a repeat of this act in the near future.

Al-Quada spokesman Ali Abba Dean says that he could not, and would not, have picked a better HHS Secretary for America himself and wishes the other Dean a long reign at the helm.

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