Saturday, September 06, 2008

Humorous Response to Patti Davis' Newsweek Piece

Patti Davis just put out a piece in which she begs Hillary to come out and speak on behalf of Obama and against Sarah Palin. The truth is that Hillary's done far more than any runner up has for their adversary and Obama is undeserving of same. He didn't even fulfill his promise to help her recoup some of her debt.

Patti's piece is not worthy of linking to. It's sobbing and desperate and she should leave Hillary alone. But I was thinking, if Newsweek prints that bunk, maybe they'll print this.

Here’s my audition for Newsweak (sic). I’m sure this will be their cover story.

Dear Bill,

We haven’t heard from you since your great convention speech in which you felt forced to back Obama. But Bill, we need you. You should be running for a third term (after getting the 22nd Amendment repealed by the NJ Supreme Court and somehow getting SCOTUS to stay out of the mix).

You see Bill, things were so much better under you.

Bill, my 1995 Grand Marquis was so much newer at the time. Then Bush came into office and 8 years later it’s near clunker status.

Bill, my loved ones, my dear not yet old mommy has more gray hair now. She was younger looking in 1992, when you were elected.

Bill, my neighbor has a wart on his big left toe. This happened under the Bush Administration, or the Bush/Rove/Blair/Musharraf/Queen Elizabeth el Segundo (the Second) axis. Bill, his feet were fine when you were at the helm.

My other neighbor’s dog has a urinary tract infection. He was a healthy little puppy when you were president.

Simply put, those around me, my neighbor’s toe and my other neighbor’s dog were so much better off under you. And they are joined by warted feet and troubled old pups across the nation.

I thought only John Kerry had the answers, when he all but promised that the dead would rise again if only he were elected. But now I know the truth. It’s you Bill, it’s you.

PS If you announce tomorrow, I can get Obama’s Greek Temple on back order. Soon to be VP Sarah Palin put that on ebay too.

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